The meaning of life and why money is not the end goal

We’re in the heart of summer. You may be among those wishing it was over. Dealing with heatwaves, sweating, sticky body parts, and sleepless nights.

You may be among those who wish it would last forever. Endless sunny days, taking every gust of wind while walking by the seaside, having cold drinks while sitting at a terrace and chatting with friends.

While I have been very quiet in the money mentor corner, I have been deeply reflecting on many aspects of life: summer and work, escaping vs. being present, boredom vs. overstimulation.

For a bit over four months I have been back at a regular 9-to-5 in a rhythm of life very different from my previous two years, when I attempted life as an independent coach and mentor. Why did I go back to a full-time job? Money was part of it, but not the main reason. While I explained it in terms of tasks and activities to a friend, what she heard me say between the lines was that what I was really looking for was human connection.

She’s right. What I struggled the most with while I was a solopreneur was not having a team to work with. I missed having people to brainstorm with, having people to show my work to and get it criticized or celebrated or improved through feedback.

My hope was that a full-time job would give me these things. That is what I had experienced before. And we tend to do that: project future experiences based on past ones.

While I have had some team work, the reality is that a lot of what I do these days is research and analysis on my own. There are aspects of that which I appreciate. Like going deep and doing good quality work without constant interruption. But I am not getting the team feeling I thought I would.

As I take stock of this new situation, I conclude that as long as I am learning as much as I am, there is opportunity in my current reality. I can’t keep searching the elusive external place or team that will give meaning to my life. I have to find it within what I already have. So I start taking in everything I am and everything I have in my life today. The small things, like admiring the flowers in a garden I had never noticed before.

Or the big things like having the time to go with the hubby or a friend on a long lunch break and take a walk along the park. Or going to the office not because it is required of me, but because it is an opportunity to move more, change environments, see the life in other parts of town, get to chat with a new colleague.

Because we feel better if we move more. We feel better if we connect more with others. We feel better if we do things that allow us to use our brains, our muscles, our talents.

Maybe you knew this already. At least I knew, but I tend to forget. Yesterday, while taking in one of those mundane moments that add light to my life, I was reminded. I went on a walk with my dog by the seaside. While walking I listened to an interview with a Colombian psychologist. They did this study with thousands of people and found out that 51% of them did not see the point or meaning of their lives and over 30% were in a fifty-fifty situation where they sometimes thought their lives mattered and sometimes didn’t. Only 17% were content and found meaning in life.

We live in a time of tremendous disconnection. We are always online, but we are disconnected from the things that bring true contentment to our lives.

That group of 17%, however, got it right. These are the four things they do to stay truly connected in a way that gives meaning to their lives:

1. They connect with other humans frequently. Laugh, talk, meet with friends.
2. They stay active. Action is an important part of their lives: walking, cooking, creating, solving…
3. They say thank you, they openly appreciate others in their lives and their help, and they also help in return.
4. They use what they have today, not wait for a special occasion: the bottle of wine, the dress, the table.

As a personal finance mentor you’d think my goal is to convince people to accumulate money and retire young to have free time to do what they want. Spoiler alert… that is not it. My goal is to help them do what I also try to do for myself: find meaning in what you have and in who you are today, and create and use wealth to support that, not as an end goal.

Of course if we assume money provides basics such as food and shelter, and you don’t have those covered then, yes, it will be very difficult for you to find energy for anything else. You first need the basics covered. That is why we all need a job. If the job pays you in a way you have food and shelter, that is good. If it also gives you connection, use of your best talents, then that is great! But if it only gives you some of it, you have the power to go find the rest elsewhere.

Anyone who reads my content has, I assume, the basic covered. That means you have the power to build for yourself a meaningful life by investing in those four elements: connect with others, stay active, be thankful and helpful, and enjoy what you already have.

For me the lesson is that neither solopreneurship nor full-time employment can be the sole external sources that give my life meaning. There is meaning in being present and using my skills to write this text. There is meaning in taking a break and being present for my dog to sniff every spot he wants in the neighbourhood. There is meaning in using my brain to build an analytical table on data inputs needed for a project at work.

Because the meaning of life is life itself. Our job is to live it.

I wish you meaning.

Happy Friday,
Maria 🌺