Who massages the masseuse? Who feeds the feeder? 

One of the most unique experiences I’ve had recently as a financial mentor was when I was offered to coach a financial advisor. I was a bit afraid. The essence of my mentoring is based on the fact that financial challenges are rarely a problem of numbers, and mostly a problem of the heart. Yet, somehow that nagging insecurity and feeling of imposter was threatening me when I knew my client made a living out of giving financial advice for years, while I’d been doing my job for slightly over a year. The question in my head was: Who was I to mentor a financial advisor? Even if that contradicts my belief and also ignores the fact that I do have the knowledge and experience to help with the most essential and common money challenges people face.

Whatever the fear, I accepted the offer with the challenge it entailed, and in my first session I did what I try to do in any and all of my sessions: I asked with care and curiosity, and I listened intently. While one part of me was afraid I was not going to add much value to her, another part of me remembered that I wasn’t there to dictate how this was going to turn out. My role was to be present, intentional and willful, and listen to this person’s story so I could offer tools and a perspective that she had not seen.

Fast forward to today. We had our 5th and last session. This is exactly what she said: “one of the most difficult things is to help people see who they really are, and this is what I have experienced with you. Believing in the results I have achieved, because I have seen the results and I did not believe in them. I have gained the satisfaction of seeing my own growth from your perspective and I am taking with me a collection of phrases you have said during our sessions that I will want to remember, and I know that being successful in helping my clients is knowing how far I can reach with them and where to draw the line”.

It was such a big realization for me to see my own advice being played back to me by my own client. While I was afraid to start my process with her, I then leaned into it with the belief that I could only do what was within my reach and not more, and so I would give all my support within my capacities. That was such a beautiful and meta experience where I taught her to lean in with what she had and not with more, just like I did with her and that is what allowed me to add value to her. It was not in the slightest way in the numbers because she was an expert in that. It was in her interpretation of them. It was in the heart. In the ability to believe in all the things she had achieved and enjoy who she had become. In knowing she was becoming a better financial advisor because she was now also ready to help her clients beyond the numbers and listen to their stories with care and intention.

Knowing how we fluctuate through emotions and stages of life, I doubt this will be the last time I start work with a client doubting myself, but capturing this story here will be a reminder that I can only do what I am prepared to do and coming into each of my mentoring sessions with an open heart and a curious mind will be my best toolset.

I don’t think my mentoring approach is meant to change for now. I just need to remember those are my most powerful tools. No person fits in a one-size-fits-all approach and only through understanding their unique story can I play back to them what they don’t see so they can take a break to enjoy who they have become and take home new tools to keep moving forward.

Happy Friday,
Maria 🌺