Stoical celebrations, preparations and shared success

It is done. At least the first part is done. After almost 10 months of break and after 5 months of active search, I have landed a new job. I am excited and scared. I know there is so much ahead. I will refresh knowledge and skills, I will learn new things, I will face new challenges, I will meet new people. My brain is going to be exposed to that cognitive stimulation I have so desperately been looking for. I will need to readjust myself to a rhythm of 9 months of living at my own pace, to that of adapting myself to the responsibilities and demands of a full-time commitment. It will be hard.

But I am happy. To get through this first stage I put in the work which was important, but equally important was the support. The network of support. The friends, the family, the colleagues and all they bring to the table: feedback, recommendations, encouragement, out-of-the-box ideas. Even the unwelcome advice helped me stay on track.

And yet, my happiness has not been like a loud waterfall flowing down the mountain, but more like a peaceful lake. In retrospect, this is probably the most stoical celebration (pardon the oxymoron) I have ever experienced. My manifestation of celebrations and disheartening moments tend to be very intense. I laugh loudly or cry hard. But this time is different. Yes, I danced in my living room and hugged my husband, but after 30 seconds I was back to mental computations. When I was ready to share with other people my success, this question popped in my head: how can I celebrate this loudly and proudly when so many people I care about are struggling and trying as hard and not getting the results? It is hard. Life is full of gray moments like this.

So I thank, I appreciate, I celebrate. But I do it in a lower voice than usual, with a humbler smile than I would were we not in a world where some struggle while others enjoy. Then I refocus my energy from celebration to preparation. I ask myself what can go wrong, how I can do my best in this new job? How do I find the balance between enjoying it and giving my best at it, while also staying away from the line in which my identity becomes excessively defined by my job. How will I manage my energy so I can continue to dedicate to hobbies and people to nurture my soul in the way that I have been doing it for the past months while also being an impactful professional and nice colleague?

I also go through practical questions that help me move away from that mental punishment and sense of guilt that arises from thinking of those in my network still in the search. These questions move me from guilt to action: what can I do to help those around me? I can advice in some cases, I can mentor in others, I can more directly support by providing that which they don’t have or can’t get that I do have.

My success is more tasteful if I can share it with others. My success is also not a permanent state. It is a constant effort to gain new knowledge and skills. It is the realization that while I am up today, I may fall tomorrow.

To those of you still going after something: Keep going, don’t give up, work hard and don’t be afraid to ask for help. I am here for you.

To those of you who have helped me by providing advice, words of encouragement, recommended me: Thank you!

Happy Friday,
Maria 🌺